Our culture is obsessed with winners and losers, with finding heroes, villains, and jokers in every story to entertain us and simplify things. We are also biologically wired to dwell on things that aren’t going well, to notice what is going wrong, not to notice what is going right.
Forget all that! We need to learn to recognize our done-wells, to realize that it is our level of effort and our commitment to improvement and learning that we need to focus on. We should not be obsessed with the fact that someone else did better than we did or that our effort has not yet produced the results we seek. The real “winners” I see around me are giving themselves a break when results fall short, but not giving themselves a break for not giving a full effort. The “losers” are focused (and frozen where they are in life) on worrying only about the things that went wrong and not the effort or adjustment it would take to change their results.
Evaluate yourself often. Am I doing my best? What could I do better? If you do this throughout the day and follow through on the results of that self-evaluation, you are miles ahead of most and you can accept each win or loss with the knowledge that you did your best. It is a great way to operate.